It was a long time ago, but I can still hear the confusion in my grandmother’s words as she tried to tell my mother what she was doing. At the time, I was witness to grandma making toast on the open flame on the stovetop.
My mother’s sister was there as well and in disbelief, both sisters, frustrated, lingered in the looks they flashed at each other while trying to explain to their mother how toast really is made.
Within the confusion and chaos, my grandmother eventually ate her toast.
It was, without a doubt, a trying time. Alzheimer’s had taken over the once vibrant, creative woman. In the midst of packing my grandmother’s things to take her to a facility, and directionless, my mother and her siblings did what they thought they could to get through and move this time right along.
Eventually time moved at it’s own pace and was filled with arguing, anger, destructive words and the feeling of continuous rushing. all of this emotion was directed at each other and sometimes at my grandmother. I believe this was a result of : everyone had their lives to live and those who were in disbelief were angry and allowed their anger to take over. They all loved deeply, but the other emotions were louder.
I know Alzheimer’s was not in their life’s plan, but it showed up. They did not see how they could fit in such an event- yet they tried to in their spare time. There was a sense of, maybe if they were too busy, it would just go away. Either way, and with love an respect to my mother, aunt and uncles, they did what they chose to do, and what they knew how to do.
It was a long time ago, but I can still hear the confusion in my grandmother’s words.
Fast forward to this book I’ve Never Loved Him More, A Husband’s Alzheimer’s, a Wife’s Devotional by Candy Abbott. When I picked up the book I assumed there would be parallel paragraphs of anger and chaos, something to let me know there was a rhyme and reason for the way my family moved through the disease which took over my grandmother. Maybe this was something every one goes through and this is normal. Instead, I was invited inside this relationship. Wading through the chronicled days and nights of Drew, Candy’s husband, asking many questions over and over, each one were met with loving responses.
Yes, Candy goes through times of frustration. Yes, Candy deals with all of the things she never had to deal with before - all of the bills, business decisions, and the like, but this book brings you inside her home, inside her head and straight to her heart. She is honest in every way. She accounts many things such as the confusion of her beloved husband as well as the second by second breath- taking moments of a sunset. She led me in, with her humor and prayers, her strong faith and deep, undying love.
You will fall in love with both, Candy and Drew. If anyone in your family is suffering from this awful disease, this book will bless your soul. You will see why you have been chosen to fill the moments of your life as a giver of care like you never dreamed you could.
This book is a resource for anyone giving care. In the back of the book there are tools to use for a direction as well as when you need an additional place to turn. Know you cannot do this alone. “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you”, Philippians 4:13. And I say thank you Candy Abbott, for being obedient to the Lord and writing this beautiful book. I say thank you to Mr. Drew Abbott for continuing to be the gentle-man, Candy’s loving husband and God’s humble child.